Vritti

WorkoutsAM: Weights, Spin, and 30-minute Core Class PM: Yoga

After Saturday's 15-miler, we went to Scottsdale Stadium for our final Spring ball game, ate lunch at the Yard House (of course!) and then had more pool time. I finished off the day with a massage at the spa. My right IT band wasn’t feeling so hot after the run and the massage really helped.

But now vacation is over. As much as I wasn’t looking forward to going back to work and the hundreds of emails that awaited me, I was looking forward to getting back to my “routine.”

Unfortunately, that has included my old friend “Insomnia.”

I was wide-awake at 3:30 am this morning and could not go back to sleep for the life of me. So I got up, and worked out for 2+ hours.

I’ve been battling insomnia for months now. You’d think with all the workouts that I do it would leave me exhausted, but it doesn’t. I’ve tried everything – Ambien, Lunesta, Calms Forte, herbal tea, lavender – nothing has really helped.

Today I had a realization. Ever since I’ve been plagued with insomnia I’ve become short-tempered, easily frustrated and angered by the silliest of things. It’s carried over into tension-filled workdays and less social outings.

Throughout the day this weighed heavily on my mind and I felt more unfocused than ever.

At this evening’s yoga class Alex (instructor) opened the class with the word “Vritti.” It means to "clear the fluctuations of the mind." I sat there thinking, “Are you kidding me?! How does this guy know exactly what I need every single class?”

As class progressed and I concentrated on the mantra it became clear to me that I need to see a doctor. This insomnia that’s plagued me for months is affecting my well being more than I realized. I’m a physically fit person, so more than likely; it’s related to another kind of problem – like maybe anxiety or something. So hopefully in the next few weeks I’ll be able to get in to see a behavioral health physician; i.e., a shrink.

I last saw a therapist 6+ years ago when I was going through some really heavy life-changing stuff. To be able to sit there and freely speak about things that are troubling you without the fear of being judged or hurting someone’s feelings was one of the most freeing, therapeutic experiences I’ve ever had. I am hoping that it will have similar affects this time around. While I have an immensely strong support system of family and friends, I do believe that a little more professional help will help me find balance once again.

I unabashedly share this with you because our mental health is just as important as our physical one. When our physical bodies get “out of whack” we seek treatment from our doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors, etc. Doesn’t our mental health deserve the same?

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